Saturday, March 28, 2009

Update on what's happening


For starters, this is going to be a busy week. Kevin and Natalie are coming home and getting married on Saturday, April 4th. Kevin has been to the National Training Center and has lost a few pounds living on MREs. Michelle took a CNA class and passed with flying colors, so she has landed a new job. Brian continues to look for work. Shelley has been beating the rug so to speak around the house getting everything tidied up for guests this weekend. We will, of course, be taking many photos and videos this weekend and I'll come back and post a few here.


Wednesday Kevin and Natalie fly in from Seattle. I believe they have to squeeze in their final paperwork that day. Friday is the rehearsal at the church and the rehearsal dinner at Cattlemen's afterward. We're expecting 47 to attend the rehearsal and I've been thinking about my toast to the new couple. I feel like Luca Bratzi in the Godfather rehearsing his lines for a talk with the Don. Saturday is the real deal and a wonderful opportunity to get all the family together at one time. Natalie comes from a pretty good sized family too so it will be splendid. Many of Kevin's friends will be in uniform and there will be a "Saber arch" for the bride and groom to walk under. The dinner after the ceremony will be a wonderful experience with over 150 attendees. The bride and groom have arranged to have a DJ who will play everyone's favorites and I'll have to dust off the rust and cut a rug.


Sunday the newlyweds are off to Jamaica for a romantic holiday before flying back to Seattle.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

My Philosophy is Fine, What's Your Philosophy?

It's not what you say, it's how you say it.


Continuing on the negativity theme, I am reminded of an interview I did when I was at Hewlett-Packard Company for a job which I was well qualified. I didn't get the job so when I followed up I was a bit surprised to hear the interviewer say "I detected some negativity." That's all it takes. I do appreciate her honesty. She detected what she perceived as negative and I was no longer a candidate for the job.

I have a lousy habit of saying things better left unsaid. We had a "Style Guide" at HP and it said to always assert things in a positive manner. It had tons of examples of how we speak naturally and often it is negative. We provide advice by saying "Don't, or You Shouldn't, etc., and the style guide made a point to put things in positive terms.

I grew up with parents who used sarcasm in their humor all the time. So most stories were riddled with negativity. I have found self-deprecation to be a useful humorous tool as well which is why I have way too many negative, bad habits.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Purging the Negativity from Oneself

A doctor friend of mine suggested I read a book called “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle and I’m really glad I did. In it, Tolle explains how we are creatures of habit and have evolved into a state of ego sponsored insanity, which explains why we behave the way we do, even when we know better and don’t want to. I have to admit I have struggled all my life with the unconscious negativity that springs eternal from within. I have come to realize that this negative trait is the sponsor of most of my problems which, unfortunately, are self-created. “We are our own worst enemy” and the reason we are is our egos run amuck.

So Eckhart gives us the keys to reversing this plague and I have found myself benefiting immensely from my new found awareness. I haven’t arrived at perfection or the absence of negativity yet, but I have noticed the improvement. Just last night I woke up in the middle of the night and began stressing about my year-end statement from my mortgage holder. Many deep breaths and a bothersome stomach ache later, I went back to sleep. So I too recommend the book and one of the reasons I do is it doesn’t make one a preacher of the new found faith, although you could argue I have been here. Most of what we learn through his teaching we already knew. I know that sounds funny but most of what he says in the book seems very familiar.

So if you are tortured from within and looking for a way out, read what Eckhart Tolle has to say about being present and embracing the now. He even explains in very simple terms how to enjoy what you are doing when you are doing the most mundane tasks of your day.

While I watched the presidential debates last year, I was struck at how little Barack Obama was driven by his ego and how much John McCain was. You can see it in people once you know what to look for. I don’t suggest you do that to observe others; the real benefit is in self-improvement.

Have you had the experience where you go somewhere and have a fitful reaction to something said or not said about you? It’s a big deal to watch your own ego go through such gyrations. The feelings are real too. I’m sure my face was red. I was able to calmly be aware of what I was thinking and be detached at the same time. You come to a realization that you shouldn’t feel the way you do. You might not even really care. But somewhere deep inside -- your ego has an agenda and you go through some severe emotional turmoil. We all do. Well, now at least I notice that I am doing it and I’m getting a handle on controlling it. I’ll be a much more positive, enjoyable person when I do.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2008 - That was the year that was

Have you ever heard the advice “Never Volunteer?” I know there are plenty of good reasons not to. I have run into trouble consistently by volunteering and then getting my ego bruised after doing too much. I am going to start out 2009 by not volunteering.

This year has been tumultuous with the end of the Bush Administration and one of the biggest economic problems in a century. Global climate change and a society that needs gratification instantly will bring lots of new opportunities to figure out how to do things differently. It may be painful getting there, however. It seems to me the first step will be how to get along - with less. As unfortunate as it may be, lots of people are going to find themselves unemployed and looking for work.

I have been laid off from work more than 8 times in my work career and I must say it is never a good experience. It’s tragic and one of the most painful experiences of your life. I began my work life an optimist thinking if I did a good job I would succeed and be rewarded. Well, life doesn’t work that way. Common sense like poetic justice, are ideals that don’t come that close in the real world. Fifty years later, I confess I have become a pessimist when it comes to work and my fellow man in getting fair treatment. So yes, I started out an idealist like most youngsters. I tried my hand at several jobs; got my education, paid my dues and at the end of the road felt empty and resentful.

Not being a quitter, I continued to go at the work world from different perspectives. I started over in lower jobs and tried to work my way back up the ladder. Finally, I just volunteered, basically gave it away (my work product that is) until I finally realized it doesn’t matter and I won’t get the rewards I sought.

It has been disgusting so I will end this piece here.

Friday, December 5, 2008

8-1 Cav Spur Ride 2008


Kevin completed his spur ride and earned his spurs the last week of November 2008. He also got a promotion to 1st Lieutenant. The order of the spur is a long standing tradition in the Cavalry of the United States Army. It actually dates back to the middle ages when knights would earn their spurs. The Army carries on this tradition and Cavalry units wear black Stetson hats and either silver or gold spurs with their uniforms. The spur ride consists of a two-day process of long road marches and obstacle courses sandwiched between qualification with weapons and exercises simulating battle skirmishes and first aid. Kevin was photographed enduring this tradition in the Northwest Guardian.
To really appreciate what soldiers go through during a spur ride, however, it may be beneficial to see one in action. Here is a link to a YouTube video of one that took place in Korea a couple of years ago.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKVFkUCxtgk



Needless to say, we are very proud of Kevin and his accomplishments and hope he continues to spread his good cheer to everyone he meets.



Friday, November 28, 2008

Jury Duty 101

I’ve had jury duty four times now and I must say it is a civic duty for which we are the least prepared. The first time I was called, I lived in Alameda County and had to drive into downtown Oakland to attend the first day of initiation into our esteemed legal system. After watching the requisite video about why we should all serve as jurors. I watched as the room settled into groups of people playing cards, reading books or magazines, taking naps or lining up to use the pay phone. This was before cell phones of course. Sometime after lunch break we were counted off into groups and were sent to our prospective courts for the jury selection process. While we watched from the audience area prospective jurors were called one at a time up to the witness stand before the judge, court reporter, defense attorney and prosecutor for questioning.

This querying is called voir dire which is probably Latin for jury inquisition. Some of the prospective jurors were very indignant about the whole process and when asked if they believed the defendant was innocent until proven guilty, they adamantly stated “No” and “If he was innocent he wouldn’t be on trial.” I didn’t realize it at the time, but these people had been through the jury process before and wanted no part of it. The lawyers asked each prospect whether they thought the testimony of police officers was honest and believable and whether they or any member of their immediate family, had been the victims of a violent crime. And so the day wore on with one person after another answering the questions and either being dismissed or selected into the jury box.

Now my first experience was a criminal case in superior court where 12 jurors would be required to hear the case and return a unanimous verdict. In order to have 12, we actually needed 15 because the alternates might be needed if something happened to one of the original 12. I realized that first day I needed to stock up on reading material because the pace of this activity was called speedy but, in my opinion, was anything but. In my search for reading material I looked for books that might be helpful for a prospective juror and picked up “The Onion Field”, “Till Death Do Us Part”, and "Fatal Vision ," a book on the Jeffery McDonald murder case and one on World War II. Unfortunately, I needed twice as many books because I had way too much time to kill.

It was the end of the second day or the morning of the third when I was called to the stand and answered all the questions to the best of my ability. I was struck by the last question as to whether I could find the defendant guilty if the preponderance of the evidence showed him to be so. It seems like such an obvious question and it is. I learned later people will say things they may not really be willing to do when the time comes. It was a sad lesson in human behavior.

So I was selected into the jury box and I was either juror 10 or 11 and waited another day before we had the required number to proceed. When the judge explained what the case entailed and how long it might last, those of us who wanted to get back to work were not very happy while those jurors who wanted time away from work were quite pleased that the trial might last 6 or 8 weeks. And so began the murder trial of the defendant.

The trial part of jury duty was pretty easy all we had to do was stay awake and pay attention to the testimony given by the witnesses. The prosecution presented their case and the defense countered until the trial was over. The judge gave plenty of instructions to the jury and we retired to the deliberation room. This is where you find that you have nothing to go by. No reference, no clues, nothing.

We were all intelligent adults and we figured out on our own that we needed to select a foreman, a spokesman for the group. I was selected as the jury foreman and I suppose my ego was delighted. The first thing I wanted to do was take a vote to see where the jurors fell on guilt or innocence. This was my first mistake. Some of the jurors did not want to do that just yet. They wanted to discuss the case first. So we took a vote and there were a few for guilty, a few for not guilty and a bunch for neither. It was then I realized I may have gotten myself into more than I could handle. So we proceeded to discuss the case. This exercise went on for more than a week and my goal was to find out how long a work holiday some of the jurors intended to get.

During the deliberations, the court did provide a sack lunch on a few days but I did not find this activity to be a holiday. Among the jurors who were about half and half men and women, was an employee of the IRS, a Seven-Up delivery driver, a senior salesman for a leasing company, and a technician at Sandia. When all was said and done, the defendant, a man from a large family in Oakland, shot his wife 5 times but claimed self-defense because he was a cocaine dealer and was suffering from paranoia.

During the trial, we learned about as much as you would want to know about how the brain works under the influence of cocaine addiction. While the evidence was fairly straight forward we could not come to a unanimous decision on a second-degree murder charge which is required in a criminal case. One of the jurors could not and would not find the defendant guilty of murder. He also would not step down from the jury and let one of the alternates take his place. By some stroke of luck we did find the defendant guilty of possession of cocaine for sale and if the district attorney’s office had not charged him with the second count, the defendant would have walked away scot free.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

To all my artist friends


I am continually astounded and amazed by the work of artists I have known throughout my life. My mother was an art teacher and an artist and I spent a considerable amount of time playing music in several bands.

Some examples of people I have known who are artists now include my friend Pete Smith from Scotland who I admire greatly and whose collaboration provided many good moments working together at Agilent Technologies (formerly Hewlett-Packard). His site can be found at
http://www.basement-picasso.co.uk/new/index.asp?tab=gallery&section=allArtists

Another friend I met in college, at San Francisco State, impressed me from the moment I met him with his exuberance, energy, and positive spirit, Bill Cone works at Pixar Corporation now in animated film but when we were in college we were kindred musicians. His blog provides ample evidence of the depth of his talents and is an inspiration to those who appreciate art at its finest.
http://billcone.blogspot.com/

Among the many musicians with whom I had the pleasure of jamming is Paul Jackson, a member of the Headhunters and Herbie Hancock’s band. Paul is an innovator and bassist extraordinaire. Paul worked at Sherman & Clay in Pleasant Hill when I attended Diablo Valley College and we never played in a band together. I did visit his home in Oakland and recall a wonderful time just jamming together.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=1000898719

Another old friend is Hal Miller who is probably the best keyboardist I have ever known. The fact that he has perfect pitch didn’t hurt anything either. We played together in Parts and Labor and we worked together at Digital Marketing and Computer Aided Management.
http://groovedoctors.com/band-members/hal-miller/

Dave Harvey is an old high school buddy who has maintained the artist label and is making a living at it. Among my other high school friends is Dave Moak who has maintained his musician chops as a hobby while making a living in construction.

I was reminded the other day when I heard the Aretha Franklin hit “Rock Steady,” of a time when I played with a bass player named Terry Davis in a club in Napa quite a few years ago. He used to admonish me because I counted the song off too fast and it was truly a workout for him to perform the bass line. Terry went on to play in a band called Stone Ground with a few other friends from those days; Vern Built, lead singer, Tim Barnes, lead guitarist and Mike Mau, the drummer.

I have some new friends who amaze me with their talent including my future daughter in law’s mother Robin Burgert. Robin is quite an accomplished artist who does sculpture and painting in her spare time.
http://robinburgert.squarespace.com/